~ with Alan W & Candice R
Alan, what is entrepreneur loneliness in your view?
Alan W:
Entrepreneurship can be a lonely journey. And it’s mostly ignored, and rarely discussed.
As we know loneliness can make the world feel a little bit devoid of color and bleak at times. Not solitude, but loneliness. That feeling of being alone, craving human company, conversation and accountability. Research has shown that loneliness leads to depression, stress, anxiety and can cause a range of mental illnesses. People are living alone, away from extended families. We are becoming a society of virtual residents. We’re on smartphones or laptops most of the time. And even watching a lot of TV. We are also living longer.
I think it presents itself in many ways. Maybe it has to do with feeling isolated. For me…..well, for example going to events where I meet lots of people and they’re all nice and have good intentions, but i often ask what did i learn from the event and did i make any meaningful business connections, did i have meaningful conversations? Another example is working at a client where we’re often seen as the outsiders - yes, we have a good business relationship with the stakeholders but often the rest of the team don’t have that business relationship with us which can present its own challenges. Being a business owner can maroon us from people: no one identifies with being an entrepreneur, family & friends & life partners are always loving and caring and polite but they don’t always identify or understand all we go through with running a business. There is another myth: working for yourself, whether you’re a business of one or have employees: it is almost glamorous, but not really - like celebrities: flashy cameras then it all ends there - no engagement, no meaningful connections. I think often we get caught up in our minds with all the things we as business owners have to think about and do: not just our craft but also ALL the aspects of running a business. Sometimes we’re excited about something and want to share ideas, our thoughts and then who do we talk to? I have, though, been fortunate to have found like-minded people that i can share experiences with, and many of them are now part of our ecosystem!
Candice R:
In essence I think it's about feeling like there is no one who can really relate to your entrepreneurial experience. Sharing the wins is easy but I think many times it is about sharing the difficult things, things you don't necessarily want to worry those close. to you with and what's more, unless they can really relate, their resolution may be a bit off.
How did you come across this entrepreneur loneliness phenomenon? What’s the backstory?
Alan W:
Just by talking to fellow entrepreneurs I realised there are many that experience the same challenges. I even sometimes see it in their behavior. Especially in the era of working remotely (which was excelled by the COVID pandemic).
Candice R:
Being in conversation with Ce's everyday, you realise that almost everyone is struggling with entrepreneur loneliness. Many times when we are in conversations about business, we end up coming across this topic purely through the fact that like minds are connecting and we realise we share in many of the same struggles, if not at the same time, it is a familiar struggle that is shared. I always get a sense that CE's want to connect on this, some are more direct and openly say they experience entrepreneur loneliness, others you can pick it up when they share experiences.
What's your advice to CE’s who may experience this - what should be considered for some resolution in this regard?
Alan W:
Acknowledge the way you feel. And pay attention to the signs i mentioned earlier. I think it is part of the game having to manage the life we chose - one of being a business owner. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Tell others about this community of CE’s! Participate in any way you feel comfortable with when you join a community or a group of like-minded people. Be particular about social platforms that you join - there is a lot of noise out there and I have found a lot of interaction on some of the big platforms but i feel it is often about them, their stories, their place to brag. That’s why I don’t go to just any SM platform, I am very particular. Then, I’d say GIVE to other CE’s, other business people and expect nothing in return. That in itself gives us a boost and we will be surprised on how people react and then start connecting in the true sense. You’ll be surprised how satisfying giving to others can be which in turn creates positive thoughts in our own minds.
Candice R:
Its all about connecting with like minded ppl in a non in intimidating manner. real connecting, real conversations, an environment where it feels ok to be honest about the difficulties not one where it is about showing off the triumphs. And connecting doesn’t only have to be in person, forums, podcasts like this, even reading others stories helps us feel less alone.
Clients, suppliers, collaborators all become potential CEs you can use in your business who are like-minded and become sources to tap into to alleviate entrepreneur loneliness.
What are the benefits of going with this type of resolution to entrepreneur loneliness?
Alan W:
By connecting we realise there are others with similar challenges of having Entrepreneur Loneliness. It helps accepting how things are. Again, it’s not all bad, I still enjoy the life I chose.
Candice R:
It spurs resolution, creativity, is uplifting and inspiring but more than the benefit for oneself, there is also the ability for YOU as a CE that can play a part in helping others navigate entrepreneur loneliness. in that odd and unexpected way in which we seek to alleviate our own entrepreneur loneliness and in the process we become the one helping another alleviate entrepreneur loneliness.
What are the questions I should be asking myself, if this is something I should pursue for my business?
Candice R:
I think its simple, if you have any challenge you are struggling with alone, you need fellow CE’s to help - helps comes in many forms, soundboards, people who can bring resolution, others stores from which you can use to reach resolution, it simply brings perspective you may never get it the challenge sits in only your world and mind.
Final pearls of wisdom to share on this topic?
Alan W:
Acknowledge how you feel. Find gratitude in your work and outside of work. Schedule time to interact with groups like what we have at DNA-Business. Find like-minded individuals who can listen and support what you’re going through - someone that will LISTEN. Even if that is all they do. And - listen to OTHERS - help THEM, that in itself will help YOU. Even if you just talk to yourself - the point is not to let your mind make a big thing of it. I would also say check in with yourself regularly: your physical health, learn to relax - it will take time. It’s like going to the gym or for daily walks or watching what you eat: change doesn’t come in a day but over time you will see results. Learn to take time off, even if just for a minute - I try look up every now and then, look up from the laptop screen and just let my mind go. It does actually help in the bigger scheme of things.
Candice R:
Start with a pay-it-forward mindset. Help other CE’s by supporting them, you may end up helping yourself in the process. And of course, be part of the DNA ecosystem, we build it after all for this very reason!
~ From the podcast, "ENTREPRENEUR LONELINESS", take a listen over here
Work with Alan W
Work with Candice R